May was Mental Health Awareness Month, and I had every intention of doing a series of blog posts to boost awareness of mental health and the problems that prevent it. In an ideal world, I would have published three or four posts in May. But just because the month is over, it doesn't mean that awareness is not important or that we don't need to be educated about the things that contribute to mental illness as well as the things we can do (not if, but) when they crop up. Please join me in reading and spreading the answers to some of the questions we'll ask when we or our loved ones need mental health help.
How do I know if I need to go see someone?
If your symptoms are affecting your ability to function in daily life, your physical health, and/or your relationships; you could probably benefit from talking to a therapist. I always say that there's a real problem whenever someone's appetite and/or sleep is affected— when a person is eating or sleeping too much or not at all. Many people don't realize they need help until a loved ones points it out. If you're wondering, ask a loved one if they've noticed that anything is a little “off.”
Perhaps you've had uncontrollable crying spells, a lack of motivation, difficulty getting out of bed, or a general sense of doom. Or maybe you have a nervous energy about you, can't calm down, or have had a series of panic attacks. If any of the above symptoms have lasted longer than two weeks, it's time to take action. Ask a friend for a recommendation, call your insurance company for a list of contracted providers, or make an appointment with your family doctor.
**Always seek professional help if you're having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else!!! In an emergency, you can call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 or even 911. (988 will connect you with a mental health professional rather than simply a dispatch worker who may or may not have specific training in mental health.)
How do I know if my child/teenager needs to see someone?
If you notice any sudden changes in your child's grades, habits, attitudes or beliefs, it might be time for them to see a professional. If you notice big personality changes, if your child is withdrawing to their bedroom more than usual, of if there are changes in their eating or sleeping habits for longer than two weeks, seek help! In some cases, a child/teen/tween will ask to see a counselor; this a good sign that he/she is in need of help. You might want to get the ball rolling by taking them to their pediatrician. That's what pediatricians are there for. I would always err on the side of caution; when in doubt, reach out!
How do I go about finding that certain someone?
A simple Google search of "counselor near me" will bring up a preliminary list, as will a visit to "psychologytoday.com". Once you have a list of providers, look to see which ones specialize in the issues where you or your child struggles as well as which ones are contracted with your insurance. Then you may start contacting them to see which ones have availability and openings that match your schedule. Lastly, you might schedule a quick phone consultation to determine whether you have an easy rapport. If so, you have a therapist!!! That said, never settle for a therapist that is not a good "fit." The success of therapy is wholely dependent on the quality of the counseling relationship, so don't waste time working with the wrong one. Don't give up though-- the right counselor for you is out there!
How long until I feel better?
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee on therapy; and there is definitely no distinct timeline for when you'll feel better. But therapy is one of those things where you'll get from it what you put into it.
How long should I be in therapy?
Again, there's no guarantee on how long it may take until you'll feel significantly better. In fact, you may feel worse before you feel better. I often use the analogy of healing a wound that's become infected. Sometimes, we have to rip off the bandaid and clean out the wound before we feel any better. And this process often hurts. However, in my work, I've found that all the pain and all the hard work is well worth the effort. It is only through this effort that we heal.
How will I know if I need medication?
This a personal choice. Talk to your counselor if you would like to ask more specific questions. Although counselors can not prescribe medication (see the previous post), they will be well-versed in what each drug targets and what their side effects are. I think you'll find that this is a good space to talk about your options. This is a personal thing, but if/when my own kids all about whether they need medication; I insist on their talking first to a counselor, and to keep talking to this counselor during the first week(s) of medication use and through the question of its effectiveness. I see the use of medication as an adjunct to counseling, not to be done as a stand-alone therapeutic intervention.